Who needs an evil stepmother when, suddenly, there are so many bad mommies?
Just last week (see Oprah aired the dirty little secrets of less than perfect moms. Today, The Wall Street Journal ran a piece about all the new books and videos in which mothers confess their parenting transgressions. The new ABC sitcom, In the Motherhood, evolved from a Web series based on the parenting travails of real women.
Personally (as CollegeBoy’s mom rather than as a marketer to moms), I’m aghast at certain of the – shall we say – more creative approaches to parenting. As far as some of the others? Well, they just made me laugh – and wonder why I never thought of them!
It’s all very ironic. What mother isn’t insecure about parenting correctly and sensitive to criticism of her mothering skills? How many magazines and talk show segments and Web sites and blogs and overall experts are there to point the way? And still, the result is this onslaught of mother confessors, hoping to relieve their own guilt and everyone else’s parental paranoia.
So – what does this all mean? Is this generation of moms more likely to be careless – in all senses of the word – than others? And, if so, are they that way because they’re so overwhelmed balancing work and family (and Twitter) — or so spoiled or lazy that they can’t be bothered putting in the effort that their moms put in for them?
Or have mothers ALWAYS been like this – keeping secrets, taking shortcuts and otherwise subverting the pose of perfection? Is the only difference that, this generation, with all its new communications tools, just takes advantage of more opportunities to talk about it?
What do you think?
Both are true. Mothers have always been like this, but I think more of it goes on in this day and age, because we’re able to instantly connect with other mothers who are going through the same thing.
It’s sort of like how things are different for our kids now compared to how things were when we were kids. You could ride your bike alone at age 8 and be gone for hours, whereas today, no mother in her right mind would just send her kid off into the world. And it’s not that the freaks and pedophiles weren’t around in the 70s – but the INTERNET wasn’t around then! Now, whatever your disorder or fetish or weirdo thing you’re into, you can find a whoooole community of people who are into the exact same thing, and talk about it, and promote it, and celebrate it.
It’s a good and a bad thing, but I like to focus on the good more than the bad. Have there always been kids with autism? Sure, but now, I can connect with lots of parents dealing with the same thing I am. I can find other parents of twins, parents of kids with autism, moms who take shortcuts in parenting, whatever. And as far as I’m concerned, it’s a good thing. God bless broadband, y’know?
Laura, thanks for your thoughtful comment. I think focusing on the good vs the bad makes the most sense.
I’m definitely more spoiled than my mom ever was! I just keep wondering when I’m going to grow up and start liking the bread crusts and the burned pancakes that are shunned by the rest of the family. My mom never wanted anything to go to waste so she just ate it! I thought that would be automatic when I became a mother, but I find I can be just as picky as my kids sometimes!
Thanks for your thoughts, Emily. My mom did the same thing. While I thought she was a terrific mother, that was one habit I opted out of!
I think there are just as many bad and good mommies as there was in the past. We just know more because of the internet. We just share more.
I have to say that I don’t eat my son’s breadcrusts, I make him do that.
I think we might have just broken a record for blog conversations about bread crusts. Who knew! Tracey, thanks for your thoughts.