Critics of the get-involved-with-every-aspect-of-my-child’s-life approach to parenting maintain that the children of parents who are too involved in their children’s lives will lack maturity, self-reliance and self-esteem. A recent study of 300 college freshmen found that students with helicopter parents were more dependent, more neurotic [...]]]>  Helicopter parenting may be just as unhealthy for parents as for  kids.

Critics of the get-involved-with-every-aspect-of-my-child’s-life approach to parenting maintain that the children of parents who are too involved in their children’s lives will lack maturity, self-reliance and self-esteem. A recent study of 300 college freshmen found that students with helicopter parents were more dependent, more neurotic and less open than other students. Another report found a connection between how frequently college students communicate with their parents and how dependent they are on their parents.

Helicopter parenting consumes more time than other parenting styles. According to Margaret K. Nelson, professor of sociology at Middlebury College and the author of Parenting Out of Control: Anxious Parents in Uncertain Times, the  intense focus on overseeing children’s TV and computer habits, friendships, extracurricular activities and more is not only exhausting, but takes time from parents’ other relationships and can even weaken those relationships. ”Working a demanding job while paying painstaking attention to one’s children leaves little time for maintaining a marriage,” she notes. According to sociologists Suzanne Bianchi, John Robinson and Melissa Milkie, adults in 2000 spent less time with their spouses than adults did in 1975, as they spent more time at work and more time with their children.  The time married parents spend visiting with friends and relatives has also declined dramatically: Married mothers spent almost a third less time socializing in 2000 than they did in 1965.

Are you a helicopter parent? Why? Does it impact your relationships with your spouse and friends?

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Earlier this month, Salary.com released the results of its 10th annual survey on the subject.

It found that stay-at-home moms should earn $117,856 and that mothers who also  work outside the home would earn an additional $71,860 above their regular salary for doing what they [...]]]> As a stay-at-home mom, what’s your worth?  The bad news is: This year, less than usual.

Earlier this month, Salary.com released the results of its 10th annual survey on the subject.

It found that stay-at-home moms should earn $117,856 and that mothers who also  work outside the home would earn an additional $71,860 above their regular salary for doing what they do as  moms. But the recession impacted the results, dragging those numbers down by 4% for stay-at-home mothers and 6% for working moms.

Furthermore, the survey found that moms rack up more than 96 hours a week of work when combining a full-time job, mom hours, and mom overtime — four hours more than last year, meaning everyone is working more, for less. 

The  salary figures were based on the time women spent on what were identified as the 10 most popular job functions of a mother. Salary.com established its figures by considering the market value for those tasks, which include laundry machine operator, janitor, van driver, computer operator, housekeeper, day care center teacher, cook, chief executive officer, psychologist, and facilities manager.

The survey also found that moms are spending more time this year on tasks such as preparing meals, making sure the home stays in good repair, and shuttling the family to activities.

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Or is it?

According to a Pew Research Center study conducted last spring, 19% percent of Americans – nearly a fifth of the entire population — [...]]]> In the next few months, there will be more women in the workforce than men – surely a cause for celebration for those who believe in equal opportunities for the sexes.

Or is it?

According to a Pew Research Center study conducted last spring, 19% percent of Americans – nearly a fifth of the entire population — think women should return to their traditional roles. For those of us who were around before the term “women’s lib” was even coined, that number is something of a surprise.  But even more intriguing – although possibly less surprising – is the response of mothers surveyed: “A substantial majority of all working mothers (62 percent) say they would prefer to work part time. Only 37 percent would prefer to work full time. In contrast, an overwhelming majority (79 percent) of working fathers say they prefer full-time work. Only 1 in 5 would prefer part-time employment,” stated an article in U.S. News & World Report.  The same article pointed out that the great majority (86 percent) of working moms say they sometimes or often feel stressed (been there, felt that). But so do almost as many mothers who stay at home (82 percent).

As a mom who started her own business just before her son was born, I had the best of both worlds – a full time job that I loved, the opportunity to take my son to the office with me and, as he got older, the flexibility to take off time whenever I needed to – although as any working mom knows, time taken “off” during the day usually leads to that number of hours or more catching up in the middle of the night.

Moms, what is your ideal – full-time or part-time employment? And how do you feel about the fact that so few dads would prefer a part-time opportunity? Companies, what options do you offer moms in the workplace?

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The 5.6 million women who said they stayed home to care for children and family while their husband worked full time were younger and more likely to be Hispanic and foreign-born than other [...]]]> A U.S. Census report, released today, indicated that nearly one-quarter of all married-couple families in the U.S. had a stay-at-home mom (SAHM) in 2007.

The 5.6 million women who said they stayed home to care for children and family while their husband worked full time were younger and more likely to be Hispanic and foreign-born than other mothers that year.

Twenty eight percent of  SAHMs had infants, compared with just 21% of other moms, while 57% had a child under 5, vs. 43% of other mothers.

The report also indicated that SAHMs typically had less education: 19% had less than a high school degree, vs. 8% of other mothers, and 32% had at least a bachelor’s degree, compared witih 38% of other mothers.

Of course, the economy being what it is, it’s highly likely that many of these mothers have since returned to the work force — voluntarily or not.

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Referring to the Parenting poll, Jeremy Adam Smith, [...]]]> Some time back, I blogged about a poll conducted by Parenting magazine that indicated many moms were fed up with their husbands. More recently, there was an interesting segment on NPR radio on how moms and dads evaluate their roles, and the resulting tension that can produce between them.

Referring to the Parenting poll, Jeremy Adam Smith, author of “The Daddy Shift: How Stay-at-Home Dads, Breadwinning Moms, and Shared Parenting Are Transforming the American Family,” said that anger arises when working parents compare themselves to others. “The mom is measuring the dad against other dads, and the dad is measuring himself against other dads, and that can create feelings of inadequacy and anger.”

Lisa Belkin, author of The New York Times Motherlode blog, added, “I think that women are measuring themselves against both their mothers and their fathers. They are doing their mom’s job and they’re doing dad’s job. If they are working outside the home and bringing in an income, they’re their fathers. And then they come home and they feel this obligation to be their old-fashioned mother…and then you’ve got dad who’s comparing himself to his dad, and he’s feeling pretty good about it. But mom’s looking over at him and saying, ‘yeah, but I’m still chasing two role models here,’ and there’s a lot of anger.”

Readers, what do you think?

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 Dad may have had his Day on Sunday, but he is also experiencing an extended paternal moment. Whether by choice or circumstance, more dads are finding themselves increasingly responsible for daily parenting.

 In response, they are making a place for themselves [...]]]>

 Dad may have had his Day on Sunday, but he is also experiencing an extended paternal moment. Whether by choice or circumstance, more dads are finding themselves increasingly responsible for daily parenting.

 In response, they are making a place for themselves in what has traditionally been “mom” territory. In growing numbers, they are creating dads-only playgroups, launching “daddy” blogs and posting parenting tips on Twitter.

This younger generation of dads is naturally more inclined to be involved with child-rearing than those before them—to many fathers today, sharing parenting responsibility is the norm rather than the exception. Working mothers expect it. Telecommuting and workplace flexibility have enabled it. And right now, the Recession is making it almost inevitable. There are more men out of work than women, making many working wives the family’s sole wage earner and even sending stay-at-home moms back to the workforce. Moms who are already working are sometimes putting in longer hours or taking on a second job to make ends meet – leaving little time for parenting tasks. With family income diminished, outside child care often becomes a luxury of the past.

For these reasons, some men are finding themselves chief caregiver for the first time in their lives – a fact that smart marketers who once exclusively targeted moms must recognize and respond to. Along with responsibility for changing diapers comes deciding which brand to buy.

How are dads responding to their new status?

Between taking on new at-home responsibilities and dealing in many cases with the loss of their work identities, they are turning to other dads in similar situations for support and advice on how to cope with both scenarios.

• Playgroups. It’s awkward for dads to be the only guy in a group designed for moms. In response, they’ve begun forming their own support/playgroups. With their charges in tow, they’re connecting not just in playgrounds, zoos and other kid-friendly locations, but also on sports fields, where they enjoy quality time with their little ones while also exchanging parenting tips and sometimes, job hunting experiences and advice. The web site Meet-up.com lists 171 dads groups across the country. 

·       Blogs. Mom blogs have been receiving a lot of attention of late. Now, Dads are getting into the act, blogging as another way to share their experiences and connect with other dads. While their numbers are small in comparison to their partners’, daddy bloggers are making their presence known. At Child’s Play Communications, where we’ve managed mommy blogger programs for some time, we are suddenly hearing from dad bloggers asking to join our review network – to the degree that we’re about to launch a separate Digital Dads group. On blogs, dads, like their female counterparts, talk about everything from potty training to politics – with a bit more emphasis, perhaps, on kids’ sports, the latest tech gadgets and in at least one case, the merits of different brands of beer. “You’re used to networking within your profession and now you’re isolated at home,” said Ron Mattocks of Clark Kent’s Lunchbox, whose tagline is, Daddy’s lost his job – now he’s got a blog. “There are a lot of guys out there trying to understand that and trying to reconcile that new role.” Dadlabs.com posts product reviews, while Daddytude describes itself as a journey with a not-so-perfect dad. Daddy Dialectic is a group blog by and about dads who “embrace caregiving and egalitarian relationships.” Some of these dads and many others can also be found on Twitter.   

•  Conferences. Yes, there is even an at-home dads’ convention, scheduled for October.

While moms still remain responsible for the vast majority of household purchasing decisions, today’s dads are increasingly having their say. Companies targeting families may want to consider reaching out to Dad bloggers and tweeters, establishing a presence on social networking sites, sponsoring playgroups and otherwise recognizing that father’s day is far from over.

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Say it ain’t so, moms.

According to an April online survey conducted by MomLogic.com and Insight Research Group, one in three mothers are turning to vices like overeating, drinking, drugs and gambling to cope with the recession.

In addition, [...]]]>  

Say it ain’t so, moms.

According to an April online survey conducted by MomLogic.com and Insight Research Group, one in three mothers are turning to vices like overeating, drinking, drugs and gambling to cope with the recession.

In addition, of mothers whose partners have lost their jobs, a full 80 percent say they are feeling overwhelmed.

Significantly, for 27% of moms 25-34, the recession is impacting pregnancy plans: Although they want more children, they are going to wait.

The survey involved 450 mothers ages 25-55.

For more on the survey, visit MomLogic.

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